When I was with him we not only had sex ..........he introduced me to the art of being submissive lol ......but we chatted for hours.Out of the domineering role he played he was gentle caring and just very special.I of course couldn't tell him this ,I kept theses thoughts to myself ,I was so scared that he wouldn't want me if I told him .It was obvious we wanted different things when he told me he wanted to play with other people as well,and he wanted to do that with me.....I was gutted!i thought I had for filled everything that a man could wantb,I thought I would be enough.My head was all over the place,I told him straight away that wasn't what I wanted and I really could not share,to me sharing was an insult on me ,I wasn't good enough and the sex wasn't enough for him,I tried to play along ,even trying to agree to going to a club together,but it didn't happen I couldn't bring myself to play that game ....it was hurtful to me ,I truly did not understand .We met on occasions after. Multiple windows were open. Mood swings. PTSD. Anger management.“Yeah? Go home and use your own computer. How’d you get in?” He stepped forward and gently, hesitantly, put his hand on Jim’s shoulder, assuring him that everything was okay. He was home. He was welcome. How much had he been drinking? Nine. After a quick glance, it was nine empty bottles that surrounded his old friend.“Still got the key from your dad. Working those summers. How’s he doing. Your dad. He okay?” Jim was drunk.“Yeah, Jim. He remarried. He stays up at the cabin. Does a bunch of fishing. He asks about you. I grew up thinking he liked you and Cort more than he liked me.” Archie spoke lightly, humor lifting his words.“Nah. That guy loved you. Every time you were out of the room he was bragging on you.”“I know, Jim. I’m just saying that he’s concerned. A lot of us are. He’s always asking if we’ve talked. What’s going on? Tonight, I mean. It’s not a problem, I’ll give you the code, but ... what’s going on?”“Dunno..
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